I'm writing this last entry from my small couch in Chicago. I've been home for about a full day now, and so far I have felt exactly in place. I have seen the skyline, heard the El rolling on the tracks in the background, and had a full conversation (in my native tongue!) with my cashier at the grocery store on Sedgwick and Division. So far, all these things have made me feel relieved, comforted, and damn happy to be home.
But for the first time since I've left Budapest, I'm looking at this photo of the sun setting behind the Buda hill. I'm standing on the Pest side right near my university on the bank of the Danube with the Liberty bridge right in front of me. Now, I can't help but feel like I'm connected to Budapest, like a part of me belongs there. When I look at this photo, it's hard to believe that I'm not just taking another weekend trip to a new European city and that I won't be back there in just a few days. I'm gone from Budapest for good, at least until I decide to visit there again.
Budapest is the city that really confirmed my sense of purpose and identity. I learned that a person like me (maybe Capricorns in general) needs something to be responsible for. Besides my classes, which is such a regular part of my life now that it's hard to consider education as just temporary, I never had any commitments; I never had to be anywhere on a certain day at a certain time. It was this type of relaxation that at first was great, but after time made me want to pull my hair out. I'm not the type of person that deals well with too much free time. Without question I will be traveling in the future, and likely for long periods of time. Now I know it's my goal to have a job or be on assignment while doing so.
I can also credit this city to making me feel less American. For many reasons I am extremely proud to be from the country that I am, but for many of our stereotypes I'm embarrassed. As we all know, Americans have the tendency to be loud, complain when their meal is too salty, sue someone when the bus your riding on gets into an accident, and talk about people from other countries as if they don't understand or don't know any better. In Budapest, this doesn't happen. And that's the way it should be. Everyone should have an experience like this and learn these things about themselves. It would make the world a better place.